.murals.

Project number 3 was start right after summer camp and G.L.O.W. was over. MURALS!!! Now I'm no artist...my beautiful sister Bethany got those genes...but I had an absolute blast doing this project. It was different from summer camp because we didn't do much interacting with the kids. But when we did, it was nothing but fun and games.

So fun story. We had just finished our second mural and we were waiting around the school to get some pictures taken. The students were being very disrespectful and we had to lock ourselves in the classroom. I could tell that the volunteers were getting really frustrated. I was frustrated myself. We were all so tired and worn out that we weren't in the best place at the time. I was mad at myself. I just wanted to go take a nap and be done with this school. We all felt defeated. I was defeated. When I found out that we would be doing ANOTHER mural the following week I was really not excited for it.  The night before we painted the third mural I was saying my prayers and I asked my Heavenly Father to bless me with the strength and courage to take on this next mural. I asked for the desire to want to play with the children and actually want to be there. Now something that I have realized out here in India is when I pray for something, the Lord has been VERY generous not only in my answers but in the timing of them. He works really fast in India haha. So we arrived at the school and all I wanted to do was run over to the kids and throw my arms around them. They were so welcoming and polite. As we were getting the paints and supplies set up, Lindsey noticed that one of the poles holding up their volleyball net had fallen down. Linds, Eric and I went out to fix it and I was thrilled. It felt like it had been a while since I had done service with a huge smile on my face. The kids were so helpful with bringing rocks to fill in the hole and everything. They were so happy to have us there. The net got fixed and we were able to play some games with them! Half way through painting I looked outside and saw Linds playing with the kids. Psh! I put down my paintbrush, washed my hands and went out to play. We taught them "Ring Around the Rosies" and we played "volleyball" with these rubber ring toys. The kids were absolutely thrilled. As was I. I was on cloud 9.

I painted this wall :)

Teaching them the "Hokey Pokey"

My boys

One more story: So we were able to paint a mural for the Alambana School for the Special Needs. What I haven't mentioned yet is that I will be able to be the project lead on teaching at this school. Being a special ed major and hoping to one day make it a career makes this opportunity amazing. (Another blog post to come about this project). We were painting a mural and I noticed that I had a little "shadow". He would stand next to me and watch me paint. We wouldn't say anything but his smile said it all. He loved the colors and the art. He looked about 12 years old. I pointed to the color yellow and asked him what color it was. Little soft noises came from his mouth. He couldn't speak. He physically could not talk. As sad as this was, I looked at this as an opportunity to help him and teach him. I took my experiences in the field to good use and tried my best to give him a little speech therapy. We would sound out the word slowly and eventually it got easier for him. We would say numbers, animals, shapes, colors. He knew them all. I pointed to the letter "M". He got really excited and pointed to himself. His name started with "M". I just knew it. He just wasn't able to say it. I made it a goal to learn his name but for the mean time, my little shadow's name was "M". I love this little boy so much and I cannot wait to teach him more. 

It was from that point on where I knew why Special Education was the field for me. The joy I felt while teaching "M" how to say 'lion', 'yellow', etc. was indescribable. A prayer I have been longing for the answer was answered today. This experience also helped me figure out why I had come to India. Why I decided to spend 3 months in a third (nearly fourth) world country. Why it was India I picked and not Fiji, Peru or Uganda. I was meant to be in India. Serving these beautiful people. Loving them. Unconditionally. I have learned how to love someone more than I love myself and it's a really good feeling.

Our mural for the Alambana School for the Special Needs

.healing.power.

I had an eye-opening conversation with my sister, Jessica, the other day and there were things that were said that I will never forget. Our conversation involved so many topics but a topic that really hit home for me was the topic of missionary work. A few months ago I started and finished my mission papers. All that was left was my interview with my stake president and bam. They were done. However, I never had that interview. I needed to take a step back and figure out WHY I, Anna Marliyn Pinnock, was wanting to serve a mission. I needed to figure out WHY I was wanting to put my life on hold for 18 months to serve my Heavenly Father. I found myself confused and discouraged. I decided to take time to figure this out. Mission papers were put on hold. This was one of the hardest decisions I had made in a really long time. But I knew it was what I needed to do. I then auditioned to be a young performing missionary in Nauvoo. After receiving an email saying I hadn't made it, I called my mom in tears. I was scared to tell her I didn't make it. My biggest fear in life is disappointing people and putting my mission papers on hold and then not making this audition was a huge disappointment to me and I would hate to disappoint my own mother. After telling her the news, she immediately comforted me and told me she loved me and was proud of me. Her next comment came as a shock to me. "Let's look into India. Let's get you over there this summer!"....India...of course! My next course of action was applying, getting accepted, interviewing and preparing. It felt like preparing for a mission almost. 

Now this is where my conversation with Jess comes in. There are still times I feel like I have disappointed people by choosing to not continue on with my mission papers. I told Jessica that I still feel like I have disappointed loved ones by choosing India over a mission. I said, "I know that I won't be PREACHING and TEACHING the gospel to children of God." Jessica then said something that really hit home for me.... she said, "Ya, but Annie, you will be HEALING the souls of children of God."...wow. Wow. HEALING the souls of children of God. This really put it into perspective for me. 

When Christ walked this earth, he taught and taught and taught. He shared the gospel and taught people gospel principles. Not only did Christ teach, but he HEALED. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to HEAL. Will I make the lepers clean as Christ did? Will I be able to make their sores go away? No. BUT. I will HEAL their hearts and souls. Thank you Jessica for helping my focus on my current mission in life. 

Healing the souls of the children of God.

.what.i.think.

I don't know how it is at your university, but I feel like at BYU the professors all gather together in secret meetings. And in these meetings they discuss when they are giving out tests, assignments and projects. Then they make an evil plan to hand out those tests, assignments and projects on the very same week. And with an evil burst of laughter that plan goes into action.

Yup. That's probably it. Or that's just my migraine thinking. Or the fact that I am sincerely stressed out to the point where I want to cry. Or that's really happening on a weekly basis. Or I'm just starving. Probably all of the above. Dang you professors and your secret, evil meetings.

.i'm.just.happy.

Life is beautiful. 

And I am a happy girl. 

Nothing specific is bringing this on.

 I just made the decision to be happy and so I am. 

Do it. 

It's fun and well worth it! 

The glass is half full people. 

Live it.

.that.moment.

That moment when it hits you (really hard) that your little brother will be leaving for a mission this year and all of the sudden you think of how hard that will be. You realize how amazing he is and how much you are really going to miss him. You realize how close you really are with him and how much you really rely on his company and jokes. You realize that when he was born, a best friend was born. You realize that you may or may not be there for his farewell (India). You realize that he may or may not miss out on big things in your life that you want him there for so badly. You realize that he is your little buddy who will always have your back no matter what. I am proud to be his sister. I am proud to call him my best friend. I am proud of him.

.healing.

My friend Elsa sent me this video.

It got me through the night and I am forever grateful.

Thank you.

.anchor.

As you can see, I gave my blog a completely new make over. This is something I do every once in a while because I have never been 100% happy with my blog designs. Four hours later, I finally mastered it and am 100% satisfied. 

Now you can probably tell that I love anchors and sailboats. This is something that I picked up on about a year and a half ago. Aub has this shirt that has sailboats all over it and I kind of fell in love with it when I first saw it. After borrowing that shirt a few times, my love for sailboats and anchors grew.
 I love the innocent feeling of sailing. My dad and I go sailing in Florida whenever we get a chance so that is kind of our thing. I love the peaceful feeling of being out on sea with my dad and having wonderful talks with him.

Anchors have a really special meaning in my life. Over these last few years, I have been through some really tough times where I feel like I am stuck there or where I have lost all hope. Thankfully I have been able to get out of those situations. However, there was no possible way I was able to do that alone. I have so many "anchors" in my life that have helped me stay on my feet and stay strong. Family...friends...school...the gospel...my Savior...dance...music...so many little things in life. I am forever grateful for those anchors and for the sturdiness and consistency of them. 

"We have a HOPE as an ANCHOR for our souls. Firm and secure."

This blog make over helped me see the anchors in my life and has given me an opportunity to make some changes in my life. I feel like my attitude in life needed a make over just like this blog did. Thank you every one who has been an anchor, past and present, in my life. I am forever grateful.

.rewind.

Sometimes I wish life had a rewind button...

That's all.

.realizations.

Living in a new apartment with new roommates and going to a new school has really changed my outlook on life. I feel more independent. I feel more responsible. I feel new. I rely more on myself more than I ever have. One big realization that I have come to over these last few days as I have read old blog posts and watched old videos of memories, is that I've changed a lot. The people in my life have changed a lot. We have all changed. Change is my biggest fear in life. I avoid it. But sometimes it is really good. That has taken some time for me to get used to. But I am now accepting that change happens. And we grow to learn from it. Some change may be sad in the moment....but in the long run...it makes us who we are today and in the future.

"So much of me...is made of what I learned from you...

You'll be with me....like a handprint on my heart...

But...because I knew you...I have been changed...for good."

Firm Believer.

I am a firm believer in many things.
One belief that I have that I will never question nor deny is the gospel.
I am also a firm believer in the saying, "things happen for a reason."
Today was a day where that belief will never be denied.
I had the day off from work to attend doctor's appointments.
I couldn't for today to happen.
Late last night, my friend Sarah asked if I would go to the temple with her this morning.
I realized it had been a while since I had been and I couldn't turn that opportunity down.
I woke up at my usual time.
As I was pouring my cereal, I noticed that my scriptures were right next to my bowl.
I read my scriptures as I ate my honey nut cheerios.
I wanted to be prepared for my visit to the temple.
I needed to be prepared.
Something amazing was going to happen.
I could just feel it.
Got to the temple around 9:45.
There was hardly anyone there.
I was in the font area waiting for my turn.
Waiting for a miracle maybe?
Just waiting.
This older man was in the font talking to the temple workers.
He had long grey hair pulled back into a pony tail with a scruffed up beard.
In walks an older looking lady.
She had long grey hair pulled back into a pony tail and braided.
She was his wife.
They had a big stack of family names.
I could wait.
I watched as this man baptized his wife in honor of their family members who had passed on.
He began to cry.
She began to cry.
I wanted to feel what they were feeling.
So badly.
I listened to his words.
I watched him.
I felt it.
I began to cry.
I had a prayer of mine answered right then and there.

After I did my work, Sarah and I were getting ready in the women's room.
The lady come out in dry baptismal clothes ready to be confirmed.
I asked her about her family names.
I asked her about her husband.
She goes on to tell me that he looks like a biker dude and not to worry because he is "very LDS".
"He's a high priest!" she said with enthusiasm.
I couldn't help but smile and admire her love for her husband and this gospel.
Another girl came out to get ready to leave and I had noticed that the temple workers knew her by name.
She comes every Monday and has been for the past year and a half.
She just put in her papers and will receive her mission call on Wednesday.
I smiled at the fact that for a year and a half, she has been doing what I should be doing every week.
That she has such love and excitement for the work.
Again, my prayers were answered right in that room.

Sarah and I proceeded to the waiting room.
I knew that the temple was closing soon but I wanted to read The Book of Mormon for a little bit.
We sat and read.
A sweet old man came up to us and thanked us for being worthy to enter into the Lord's house.
Again, I smiled.
I read and felt the spirit so strongly.

There was no mistake that I was there at that time.
There was no mistake that Sarah asked me to go on my only day off of work.
There was no mistake that the lovely couple was there doing work for their ancestors.
There. Was. No. Mistake.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason.
That people come in and out of our lives at the most perfect times.
I didn't meet strangers today.
I met angels and friends.

Things happen for a reason.
I believe it.
Do you?

Please?

Dear me,

Can I PLEASE just have one good night's sleep? Pretty please? With a cherry on top? I mean... It's been 3 weeks. Come on. Give me a break. Please and thank you.

Sincerely.

You're tired body.

Answered...

Heavenly Father listens to prayers.
I know it.
Have I ever questioned whether or not He's there?
Yes.
Has it ever led me down a nasty road?
Yes.
But am I finding my way back to Him?
Yes.

Life will throw rocks at you.
Life will give you people who may break your heart.
Life can be hard.

However...

Life will throw rocks at you...throw them back with courage.
Life will give you people who may break your heart...kill them with kindness.
Life can be hard...but it will be so worth it.

I know through experience that the Lord encourages us to do better in life.
He is our biggest cheerleader.
Do Him a favor.
Make him proud.

I know through experience that by choosing to live right,
the we will be blessed.

Yes.
Heavenly Father is on the other side listening.
Yes.
He cries with me.
Yes.
He laughs with me.
Yes.
He loves me.

Prayers are answered.
In the most bizarre way.

Day of Blessings...

"Where much is given...much is required."

I love this saying....especially today. 

Today at work, I was stressing about money and not working enough to make it. 

Synergy is costing me and my parents a lot of money.

So work has been more stressful that usual.

Today, I received an email from D. Kim Clayton.

Director of Clayton Productions.

Long story short...blessings were received.

An international foundation donated a great deal of money towards Synergy.

$1,300 is now off of my back.

I have been working hard to pay my parents back.

They have been so great to help me pay for Synergy this year, 

but inside...I want to pay for it all myself.

I WILL pay for it all myself.

As I read that email, I gasped and cupped my hand over my mouth.

Phone calls were made to family and friends.

Jessica even called me right after receiving the email just to catch up.

She has this sisterly sense.

I couldn't help but cry as I read the email over and over again.

This is a huge blessing for not only me, but for every single member of Synergy.

Because I received such an amazing donation, it makes me want to push even harder.

It makes me want to put my whole heart and soul into Synergy 2012.

Rehearsals are 6 hours long.

They are tiring and hard at times.

It is all worth it.

I've done this before.

I'll do it again.

I express a large amount of gratitude to that foundation who was so kind and generous to help us all out.

I have found that by living your life in such a way that draws you unto Christ, keeps you close to the spirit and just being obedient, that you will receive multiple blessings.

It makes the hard things in life so worth living for.

Tears were shed.

Smiles were present.

And hugs were given. (thank you Aubrey)

I am a happy and grateful girl.

I am blessed and filled with joy.

THANK YOU.

P.S. Nothing is better than coming home from work to a huge hug from your roommate and having her say, "I just love you Ann!" I love YOU Aubrey! I have the best roommate ever!

Thought of the Day...

"When life gets too hard to stand...kneel."

TaKe WhAt YoU nEeD...

A few posts ago...
I talked about this piece of paper that
was left on our fridge.

Still to this day, we don't know where it came from.
I'm so grateful for that anonymous person.
Today.
I took...
PEACE.
I need nothing more but peace right now.
There are things in my life that aren't too easy right now.
Peace will calm my heart.
Peace will make me happy.
Peace will help me overcome fear.
Peace will lighten my cloudy day.
Peace will wipe my tears away.
Peace.

Last final will be taken tonight at 7 PM.
I couldn't be more happy.
I need to feel peace and confidence in this final.

Other feelings of sadness fill my heart.
My feelings get hurt.
I hurt other people's feelings.
I don't feel confident in decisions that need to be made.
I need to feel peace that everything WILL BE OKAY.

Some wise people in my life have been telling me this lately.

IT WILL BE OKAY.

After ripping off "peace" from the "TAKE what you NEED" paper...
I was already starting to feel the peace.
By praying, attending the temple, reading my scriptures and having faith...
I will have peace in my heart.

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you."
2 Thessalonians 3:16

Live your Life

Lately...I haven't been Anna Marilyn Pinnock.
I haven't been feeling myself at all.
I haven't been happy with some situations in my life.
I get moody, discouraged and disappointed.
I feel the most let down then I have ever felt in my life.
I have been trying for weeks and weeks to figure out how to live my life in such a way where I won't feel so lost and alone.
Every time I get to a low point, I sit there and think about the people who help me be happy.
The things that make me happy.

I'm so grateful for my amazing roommates.
All 5 of them.
I'm so grateful for my family members.
All 8 of them.
I'm grateful for my mom's phone calls and her "I love you's"
EVERYDAY.
I'm grateful for Aubrey and her amazing hugs and snuggle times.
All BILLION of them.
I'm grateful for my education.
All of it.
I'm grateful for the Book of Mormon.
All 531 pages of it.
I'm grateful for this gospel.
Forever and all eternity.

Last night in Psychology, my amazing professor started out the lecture with a movie that changed my whole perspective on life. People will come in and out of your life. Your feelings will get hurt here and there. It's up to you whether or not you let that affect the way you treat others and live your life. Focus on those who are consistent in your relationships. Focus on the spontaneous moments in life rather than the dull. I now know how to live my life in such a way where sadness and discouragement doesn't exist.

Live your life...

A penny for your thoughts...

I was at the post office today and there was a cup that said, "A penny for your thoughts"

I see this quote everywhere...

Never really understood it...

But when I walked out of the Student Center, I start thinking about a lot of things...

Family.

Church.

Christmas.

My lovely roommates.

How my tummy was hungry.

Friends from afar.

Old memories.

Memories to make.

How I love school.

Ways I can improve my own life. 

I guess you can say that was 10 cents for my thoughts.

The more I thought about these 10 things...the bigger my smile got.

I've never really thought about life like that.

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar.

They're worth so much more after I'm a goner

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing

Funny, when you're dead how people start listening..."

-A Band Called Perry

This verse of "If I Die Young" is brilliant.
I think it's one of my top 5 favorite lyrics.
Why?
Many reasons.

Aubrey is wise...

Today I wasn't planning on blogging because nothing really exciting happened...but then I just barely read my roommate, Aubrey's most recent blog post and I had to share what I learned. I sat there and read it and just fell in love with what she experienced today. I even read the post twice! Today...Aubrey had HOPE. Something EVERYONE needs. There was this sheet of paper on our refrigerator:

No one in our apartment knows where it came from....I personally think it makes it that much more special. Today...Aubrey took HOPE. Just read her post and you'll know what she experienced today. I'm not going to go off and mimic what Aubrey wrote about HOPE. Her blog post says it all! I found this quote about HOPE and wanted to share... "Learn from yesterday, live for today, HOPE for tomorrow. The important thing is to stop questioning."

-Albert Einstein

Today I learned that everyone needs HOPE. It's one of the only things that can really make life so much better and more enjoyable. With HOPE comes FAITH. And with FAITH comes a stronger YOU....Just made that up...It might not make any sense to any of whom read my blog...but it made sense to me. 

So thank you Aubrey Jo for giving me that little piece of HOPE that I've been looking for. 

Hold On...

Her life was more than mine, 
Like a proud shooting star into the night, 
She crashed through the airwaves and ripped like a knife. 
It was a bad disease; her searching was over, over. 
Hold on to the light that guides you, 
Hold on to the air that cools you, 
Hold on, hold on to me 

Her mind steadfast through time, 
Her family stood by trying hard not to cry, 
With patience and virtue, kept strong through the night, oh. 
She never fell to her knees, her searching was over, over. 

Hold on to the light that guides you, 
Hold on to the air that cools you, 
Hold on, hold on to me 
Hold on to the light that guides you, 
Hold on to the air that cools you, 
Hold on, hold on to me 

And then my eyes stretched out, 
As I saw her hand slip away 

Hold on to the light that guides you, 
Hold on to the air that cools you, 
Hold on, hold on to me 
Hold on to the light that guides you, 
Hold on to the air that cools you, 
Hold on, hold on to me

Day 9

Today I am grateful for popcorn and milk duds. Aubrey, Carlos and I wanted to watch a movie tonight. I love watching movies! Especially when I have popcorn and milkduds...anyone who knows me knows that I love eating a milkdud and then throwing some popcorn in my mouth..hello!! Carmel popcorn! So we went to Walmart and got me some milkduds while Carlos got himself some Oreos...I'm sad to say that I cannot eat Oreos anymore...but I did...don't tell anyone. But we came back home and watched Robin Hood Men In Tights....(TIGHT tights) It was so funny! But ya...I'm grateful for popcorn and milkduds....and the fun night that I had with Carlos and Aubbie.