.missing.her.

Sometimes her songs come on my iTunes shuffle and I can't help but break down and cry.

Missing you every day sweet angel Sophie Rose Barton.

Keeping singing with the angels.

"Feel the fear and do it anyway."

Concert of angels...

Today was an incredible day.
After a lot of frustration, KSL ads, phone calls and texts,
Trent, Aubrey and I were able to get tickets to the Parachute concert.
Parachute is one of Trent's favorite bands.
He was stoked.
Tessa Barton and her band were opening for them.
Aubrey and I were stoked.
It was the best of both worlds.

Parachute was awesome!
I recognized a few of their songs.
They know how to put on a show!

Now rewinding to the pre-show.
I love watching Tessa perform.
Ever since her sweet sister Sophie passed away, I see so much of Sophie through Tessa.
I used to perform with Sophie in a singing and dancing group and I saw so much passion in her when she performed.
That passion shows through Tessa now.

"I want you to think of the most beautiful girl. She is tall. Has blonde hair and has an amazing voice...she is my sister Sophie Rose."
-Tessa Barton

Tessa performed a number called, "Walk With Me"
This is a song that her and Soph wrote together.
In The Venue is a loud joint but throughout this particular song, the audience was dead silent.
We all stood and listened to Tess perform this song.
It was Tessa.
Her guitar.
And Sophie's sweet spirit.
All on one single stage.
The power and spirit in the room was overwhelming.

This is a video that Tessa and her brothers made for Sophie on her birthday.
I've watched it 3 different times.
All 3 times of watching it have led me to tears.
Tessa is so strong.
Chas is so strong.
Luke is so strong.
The whole Barton family is so strong.

Keep singing through Tessa Sophie....
We all love hearing both of you sing.

Letters to Sophie Rose...

This day was one of the most memorable days I've had in my life.
Aub and I had a photography assignment due that had to tell a story in 5 pictures.
I received inspiration on Monday night to do a story about Sophie Rose Barton.

It's been a little over a year since the passing of such an amazing person.
I was at my grandma's house that evening and I called my cousin Chelsea to come over and hang out.
She passed the news to me and I was in shock.
I didn't know how to feel.
I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know why.
Instantly, I told Jessica and Stephen about the news.
My first action was to kneel down right there in the backyard and say a prayer.

That night as I lay in my bed, looking at Sophie's Facebook profile,
Tears filled my eyes.
I began to question why her?
Why such a perfect human being who had so much going for her?
Why does her family have to go through such pain?
I got mad.
I was furious.
Then an overwhelming feeling of peace filled my room.
Sophie.
She is happy.
She is no longer in pain.
She is singing with the angels.
She is watching over her family.
She is helping me.

I did Clayton with Sophie.
We weren't in the same group, but we went on tour together.
I had seminary with Sophie.
She sat behind me.
Studying her scriptures.
Writing down notes.
She was perfect.

I would watch her and her sister Tessa walk down the halls of Olympus.
Hand in hand.
Smiles on their faces.
Beautiful clothes on.
They are best friends.

Aubs and I went to the funeral together.
Most beautiful thing I have ever been to.
Most everyone was wearing white.
Sophie's color.
I sat there with Aubrey.
Holding her hand.
Not wanting to think of the thought of ever losing Aubrey.
I held onto that moment.
I always will.

Aubrey and I drove to Salt Lake and went straight over to the Barton home.
Her mother, Anne-Marie, welcomed us with open arms.
They have made the "Dream Tree".
People come and write notes for Sophie.
We stood next to the tree in awe.
We decided to go in Sophie's room.
It's the same.
Sneakers in place.
Books in place.
Everything left the way it should be.
We sat on her bed with Anne as she told us stories about Soph.
She let us read Sophie's song writing journal.
She started writing songs at age 10.
She was so determined to finish 10 songs by age 17.
17.
She did it.
She did more than that.
Anne took pictures of us as we read her lyrics and recognized the songs.
We found a page with her song "This Feeling".
All 3 of us were singing them.

Aubs took pictures of the room while Anne-Marie and I sat on the bench in her room and looked at a scrapbook made by a complete stranger.
The pictures were from the funeral.
Anne hadn't looked at the book yet.
We were both in silence.
In tears.
We left with good advice given by Anne-Marie.
Such a strong woman.
Such an example.
I cannot wait to see that reunion between Sophie and her mother.
They are eternal best friends.

Aubrey and I made our way over to Sophie's grave.
We got white balloons...Sophie's color.
We sat there and wrote a letter to her.
We laughed.
We sat in silence.
We hugged each other.
We shared a moment that will never be forgotten.
The weather was freezing.
But my heart was warm with the feeling of Sophie there.

We tied the note to the balloons.
We released them into the sky...up to Heaven.
People always say that the balloons will eventually deflate or get caught in a tree somewhere.
I don't believe that.
That letter made it to Heaven.
Sophie read it.
I have the faith that she did.

We we were leaving,
Aub pointed out the moon.
It was 4:45 and the moon was out.
Whenever I look at the moon, I think of Sophie.
She was there with us the whole time.
She was laughing with us when we laughed.
She sat in silence...right next to us.
She smiled.

I have gotten to know Sophie in a completely different way.
She is one of my guardian angels.
I feel her in the wind.
I feel her when I'm sad.
It's like she is sitting on my bed with me.
Wiping my tears away.
She is a friend.
She is a sister.
She is perfect.
The moon.
The roses.
The rainbows.
The wind.
The rain.
The sunlight.
The music.
It's all Sophie.

I am forever grateful for this perfect soul who taught me to:
"Feel the fear and do it anyway."
-Sophie Rose Barton

I love this girl.
I'm so grateful for this assignment.
I'm grateful for the story.
Yes. It's horrible and sad.
Yes. It's meaningful and happy.
Sophie only wants us to be happy...
because she is.

I love the impact this assignment had on my life.
On Aubrey's life.
On my photography instructor's life.
...Yes...as he looked at my assignment...
He teared up.
Sophie was there.
I know it.

I am eternally grateful for that amazing angel.

                               

 

 

We love and miss you Sophie Rose Barton.

An Amazing Weekend of Love....

This past week was really lousy due to

work, school and other stuff...

Started off my Friday with a hope for a good day.

Did I get that good day?

Not at the beginning...

Came home from work in tears to my roomie Aubs.

She did nothing but comfort me and hug me.

Much needed.

She is amazing!

We went to our photography lab which was great!

Our instructor is HILAR!...as Aubsie would say.

Aub was the class model for "awkward, distorted face" pictures.

She still looked beautiful!

Met up with our friend Sarah Howard.

Off to Salt Lake!

Best part of the drive was talking on the phone with our dear friend.

Carlos.

He is a new friend of me and Aubrey.

Upon our arrival, Brian Wilder came over.

He treated me and Aubrey to Zupas!

Aubs got the TBA and I got a salad.

Oh ya...I can really only have salads from there now...

This darn Celiac disease!

Stories were shared and tears were shed...

K no tears...but good/okay stories were told.

We love Brian!

Last year Aubrey and I went to Freaky Fridays.

It's a Halloween show that Clayton puts on every Friday in October.

Highly recommend it!

Before Freaky Fridays last year, we visited our beautiful friend Sophie at her grave.

She passed away last summer and will never be forgotten.

To keep this tradition living, Aubs and I decided to go to Freaky Fridays.

It gets better and better every year! We saw Aubrey's brother Austin!

He did amazing!

I also saw 2 of my old dance students I taught last year!

Mikala and Shanay! They were good looking zombies!

Before we went to the show, we visited Sophie.

It was such a sweet experience to have with Aubrey.

They have dozens of roses set up.

An angel statue.

And a garden sign with her name in it along with a laminated picture of Sophie and a scripture from Proverbs.

Aubrey and I just stood there in the rain.

Hugging each other.

Crying.

And telling memories of Sophie.

It's moments like that where you learn to appreciate life and loved ones.

I've never been more grateful for my best friend Aubrey.

Sharing that moment with her was life changing for us.

"Feel the fear and do it anyways."

-Sophie Rose Barton

After dropping Aubrey off at her house, I headed over to visit my dear friend Trent.

On the way over there, I talked with my best friend Elsa on the phone!

I miss her.

She goes to BYU-I.

It was good to just talk to her and catch up!

Trent treated me to Cafe Rio.

Thank goodness I can still eat that!

Then off to Target!

We got some food for Trent for his Saturday meal.

I saw Boo Berries...Brian's favorite cereal.

I couldn't help but throw a box in the basket.

We went back to Trent's and watched a food TV show with his fam.

It was great!

Gotta love the English family.

Then Trent got me into Modern Family.

Never seen it.

Loved it?

YES!

Trent and I enjoyed a fun talk full of random questions and laughs.

Good day!

Woke up Saturday morning to a busy busy day!

Ran errands for my mom. (She was out of town)

Stephen had homecoming that night so I had to get his shoes, tie and flowers!

Stephen and I before Homecoming

He looked so handsome!

My mom is a rock star.

I don't know how she does it!

Then off to the temple to watch my best friend Megan Brock walk out after getting sealed.

Steph Dowse and I drove together and had an amazing talk!

I love her!!

Then Megan and Garret came out!

Megan and Garret were glowing!

Stephanie Dowse and I were "unofficial bridesmaids"

What an honor??

We were able to spend the whole day with a beautiful bride!

Her reception was amazing!

Greg Dowse was my date!

We were early so we stopped by a pizza place and got a pizza!

Did I eat some?

You betcha!

Did I feel sick after?

You betcha!

A photobooth+yummy treats+dancing+Jordan & Denise Sinquefield=an amazing night!

!

Good ol' Clayton friends!

Catching up with childhood friend-Brynnie Bug!

Me, Steph and Camille!

So happy for Megs and Garret!

Our best friend's wedding!

Steph, Greg, Garret's friends and I had the honor to decorate the car!

Window markers, oreos, TP, balloons and streamers were our weapons!

Came home and got some laundry done while I had a visit with Trent!

Family came home from Arizona!

So happy to see them!

Aubs came over and we headed back down to Orem.

Was it was lousy, busy week?

Yep.

Was is an amazing weekend??

Oh ya!