.being.engaged.

Trent and I got engaged on July 14, 2014. Our initial plan was to get married in October and have a nice fall wedding. A winter wedding was never an option for me. I hate the cold and I refused to be shivering my rear off outside the temple.

I knew that once September hit, I would be in full swing with my student teaching and getting ready to graduate. Getting married in the middle of all of that gave me really bad anxiety. I wanted to be able to be married and not worry about my portfolio or my tests. I wanted to be a good wife and take care of Trent without that stress. January 3, 2015 it was. 

Here are a few reasons we chose to wait:

> I will have graduated from college and gotten a job to help provide for us. 

> My sister and brother in law who live in Switzerland would be able to come out for the wedding and stay much much longer for Christmas and the New Year. 

> My 2 cousins who are also my best friends are coming home from their missions {Sarah: 12/17/14 and Rachel 1/2/15} I wanted them to be there for this special day. 

> Time = being able to save money

> We will be able to spend the holidays with our own families one last time before getting married.

> Who wouldn't want to be engaged to their best friend for 5 1/2 months?!

Now once we chose this date I felt nothing but peace about it. However, the following Sunday after getting engaged, we went to church and when people asked what the date was...you would never believe that reactions we got....

... "Oh...good luck with that one."

..."Why on earth would you do that to yourselves?!"

..."Good luck not screwing up and not being able to make it to the temple!" {Verbatim}

..."You guys probably won't make it."

..."Just getting married sooner. That's the smart thing to do."

..."Oh....so like 6 months eh?...that sucks."

I'm not kidding on any of those comments. I drove back down to Provo that night in full on tears. I called my mom wondering if waiting 5 1/2 months was a good idea. I was able to talk to my sister, Jessica, about my feelings towards this. She was engaged for even longer and said it was the best decision she ever made. She just told me to wait and see and realize that we made the right choice.

She was 160% right. Being engaged to Trent for this long has been the best thing ever. Has it been easy? Nope. Has it been worth it? Oh you betcha. I have had a few friends call/message me and ask what it has been like to be engaged for this long. I could go on and on about this but here are a few thoughts...

> Trent and I have been dating for 3 years. Being engaged is so much more different than dating. I have been able to get to know him in a completely different way.

> Time to plan. I look at girls who have 2-3 months engagements and I don't know how they do it without ripping their hair out. People are always asking me if I am ripping my hair out/stressing about plans. I have the privilege of saying... "Nope!" I have had 5 months to plan my dream wedding and they have been 5 incredible months. 

> Family time. I have spent more time with my family than I have in the last 5 years. I have grown to love and appreciate them even more and that didn't happen until I got engaged. I hang out with my mom every day whether it's for wedding plans or just snuggling on her bed to watch a movie. My sister Jessica and I have spent a lot of time chatting about plans. She even threw me a bachelorette party that was amazing!

> Temple preparation. I am not endowed and the temple {besides baptisms for the dead} has always been a scary and unknown thing for me. I have no idea what to expect. Trent and I attended temple prep classes taught my a cute couple in our ward who watched us both grow up. It has been such a treat to meet at their home every Sunday at 11:00. I have learned so much and I can't wait to go through the temple!

> Being a fiancé. I LOVE being a fiancé. It sounds silly but I am always finding myself wanting to serve Trent in some way. Whether it's taking him a quick Diet Coke during a stressful day at work, or rubbing his feet when he isn't feeling very good, or just telling him how much I adore him each and every day. I also love making decisions with him by my side. Taking the job I just took was not an easy thing. It was scary. But Trent was right there with me all along the way. We just went apartment hunting today and that was a fun thing to do TOGETHER. Even picking out his wedding suit was a joint effort. I just love making decisions that involve us working together. 

> Planning our future. Like I said, Trent and I went apartment hunting today. This hasn't been an easy process for us but I have loved doing it with him. We have been talking about finances a lot more lately and it's been fun {and sometimes stressful} to plan this together. You know the saying, "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours."? Love it. So true for us. 

> Being loved by him. I have loved being loved by my fiancé. Trent is constantly showing me how much he loves me. He really is my best friend and being his fiancé has been a real treat.

There ya have it folks! Again, I have NO idea who actually reads my blog but it's nice to get these thoughts out so I can always remember them.

Being engaged has been blast and part of me might miss it, but I can't wait to start a life with Trenton and become his wife!

.hello.

Oh hello world. It's only been 6 months. My bad. I really don't know who reads this {besides my sweet mother} so here is an update!

> July 14th....got engaged. WHAT?! Let me tell ya...getting engaged to my best friend = the best thing ever. Trent really is my everything. My person. My go to. My partner in crime. My rock. My world. Cheesy but true.

For those of you who haven't seen the proposal video you can watch it here! Trent did an AMAZING job at setting this up and surprising me. For some stupid reason I always figure out surprises when they are coming but I did NOT see this one coming. This was my dream proposal and he made it come true. {side note...he sang the song "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. I have been begging him to sing this song for years.... it was worth the wait.}

> I have moved back home....well in August. I LOVE being back home. I love my comfy bed. My dog. The roommates aren't too bad either! {gotta love the parentals} Free food. Trent lives just a few blocks away which is lovelier than ever. We have spent 98% of our relationship with me in Provo and him here in Holladay. I never realized how lousy that 45 minute drive was for a short hang out session. I just love the comfort of home and Trent.

> I have graduated college....well not officially...but I am done with college classes....forever. It still hasn't sunk in. But I know once I walk in April I will be wetting my pants because 5 years of college can be fun, yet draining. Let the NO MORE FINALS CELEBRATION BEGIN!

> Along with graduating college, I was able to finish my student teaching in special ed and get my teaching license. My student teaching experience was beyond amazing. This will be shared in a separate post. But I cannot get over how incredible it was. My mentor was a huge blessing and the students became my besties.

> I got a job! I will be teaching at Sunset Ridge Middle School. It's a brand spankin' new school! BEAUTIFUL! I will be their language arts specialist. No more teaching math and I'm stoked about that! Teaching at a middle school was my last choice but every time I thought of taking this job, I got excited and it felt right. I couldn't shake that feeling so I went for it. I don't think I'm going to regret this decision.

> I'm getting married in t-minus 19 days....BAHHH!!!!

More posts comin' atcha {mom}!

.things.i.love.lately.

Things I love lately…

>> I love this weather. I find myself happier when it's sunny and warm.

>> I love driving to Pleasant Grove every day to teach. Gives me time to think & listen to music.

>> I love that I've been eating healthier.

>> I love every chance I get to hold my nephew. He truly is a miracle for our family.

>> I love how cool I feel when I tell people I no longer have my appendix. 

>> I love that fact that I have a job and I've gotten pretty good at it.

>> I love my new bishopric. They are an answer to my prayers.

>> I love the students I am teaching right now. { even though practicum is kicking my butt }

>> I love how hard I've been working…It makes me feel productive.

>> I love that my best friend is happily married & I was lucky enough to be apart of her special day.

>> I love that my sister and brother in law are coming home to visit tomorrow { eek! }

>> I love that I've called my mom crying everyday this week after teaching & she gives the best advice.

>> I love my roommates and how they pick me up a Diet Coke on long days like today.

>> I love the precious time I get to spend with my sweet Trenton James. 

>> I love that life is kicking me in the rear right now but that I wake up to a new day.

>> I love that Diet Coke at McD's is $1.

>> I love that my brother is serving a mission and is dominating out there in Italy. {miss him!}

>> I love that I get tired at 9:00PM.

>> I love waking up early and having a long and productive day.

>> I love that So You Think You Can Dance is back.

>> I love life. 

.call.me.madeline.

(This is a long story…but hopefully worth the read!)

Growing up my cousin Sarah and I would watch the Madeline movie almost every time we played.

We would play with her Madeline dolls and the Madeline house. Sarah's Madeline doll even had her appendix scar on her tummy. When I was a little girl…I always wanted a Madeline appendix scar. Well… I am now 22 years old and that childhood dream became a reality for me. Here is the story.

Monday night, I go to bed feeling great and ready for my CPSE 462 midterm the next day. 

Tuesday morning, my head shot up from my pillow and I was drenched in sweat. I looked at my clock and it read 6:30 AM. I ran to the bathroom and began to miserably vomit. It didn't look like there was an end in sight. I thought to myself, "This is just another flu and it will pass." Went back to bed and 30 minutes later I was back in the bathroom having a miserable time. I decided to take a tub hoping that it would help relax my poor tummy. I got back into bed to work on some homework and study for my midterm that I was to take in 2 hours. I kept drinking water to stay hydrated, but unfortunately, my stomach wasn't going to keep even a little H2o down. I was able to get my shift covered for the evening and I knew that going to class wasn't going to be a possibility. (Thank goodness for amazing and understanding professors.) I called Trent and he came down around 6:00 to sit with me and make sure I was doing okay.

We were sitting there and I was actually starting to feel fine again. Trent then said, "Ann, let's get you to the Instacare."…"Trent I think I'm good. I don't really want to go."…"No Annie…I really feel like we need to take you to Instacare." 

Clearly, Trent had a prompting and next thing you know, I was in his car and we were on our way. We get to the Instacare. They took my vitals, asked a few questions and next thing you knew, the nurse had this look of panic on her face. My heart rate was at 150 and I had really low blood pressure. The next thing she said put me in tears. "We need to get you to the ER and fast." I was so confused because I thought I had the flu and all I needed was some Zofran for the nausea. Trent helped me to the car and we were on our way. I called my parents but couldn't get a hold of them. I got a hold of my sister, Jessica, and she, being a new mom and a mother figure to me, began to worry and told me that she would get a hold of my parents.

We got to the ER and checked in. More vitals were taken and a 45 minutes wait later I was in a gown with an IV in my arm. (getting the IV put in was far from pleasant.) I had an intern, nurse AND doctor checking my vitals, poking around and asking all sorts of questions. I am so glad Trent was there because inside, I was freaking out and had no idea what to expect. The doctor told me that he would be giving me morphin and zofran. I knew why I needed to Zofran but Morphin?? I didn't complain but I also didn't realize I needed it. 

They took me down to get an ultrasound to look at my gallbladder and appendix. By the time I got back into my room my wonderful brother, Hugh, had shown up. A few minutes later, my sweet parents were there. What felt like an eternity, about 45 minutes later, the doctor came in to tell me that my gallbladder was perfectly fine but that they needed to do a CT scan on my appendix. I was taken down to the CT scan room and then back to my family.

ANOTHER 45 minutes later…(EVERYTHING was 45 minutes) the doctor came in to tell me that there was some inflammation around my appendix and that they might be removing it the next day. Everything else looked fine (or so they thought) but they needed to keep me over night. 

My dad, Hugh and Trent gave me a beautiful blessing to calm my worried heart. It was such a blessing to be surrounded by 3 worthy priesthood holders who are such a big part of my life. I was then transported to my room for the night and around 1:00 I was asleep. They told me that if I were to get surgery that it would be around 10 in the morning. Well after a night of being woken up every 30 minutes to have vitals checked on, 6:00 AM rolled around and I was told that surgery was happened right NOW. 

A phone call was made to my parents, brother and Trent and I was on my way. Although I was exhausted and ready to go, I couldn't help but relate each doctor/nurse that came my way to a Grey's Anatomy character. Seriously though…being a huge Grey's Anatomy fan made this whole experience really interesting. Unfortunately, none of them were as handsome as Dr. McDreamy/Steamy and none were as sassy as the lovely Christina Yang. They FINALLY rolled me in the OR, put an oxygen mask on me and boom…I was out. 

I woke up in an unknown room and all I could think about was wanting a glass of water for my sore throat. It felt like I was in that room for hours. They rolled me down the hall and into my room where Trent and my mom were waiting for me. I was super out of it, so I don't remember most of that afternoon. I do remember throwing up a few times and being in a lot of pain. 

I was told that the lymph nodes around my appendix were about the size of a golf ball due to a virus. They still took out my appendix. There was also a cyst on my ovary and some old blood in some areas where it shouldn't have been. So I got a little more than I bargained for. 

After throwing up some more and getting as much rest as I could, I was able to get discharged and sent home. I came home to my loving family, Trent and creamies. Sleep felt impossible that night but it did feel good to be home.

It is now Thursday and it feels like yesterday I was enjoying a fun evening at FHE Monday night. This whole week has been a blur for me but I am so blessed. The surgeon told me that if I had waited another day or two, something could have burst and it would have been worse. I am so incredibly grateful for Trent for receiving that prompting to get me to the Instacare. I am also so grateful for my loving family who were right by my side the entire time. I am grateful for amazing friends who have stopped by to visit and bring me honey suckles. 

God is real and He is good. The priesthood is a beautiful thing and I am so grateful to be surrounded by it. 

So now you can all call me Madeline because I have a Madeline scar and I am pretty stoked about it!

This was taken at the beginning of this weird experience.

.tender.mercy.

How today was supposed to look:

Class from 9:00-3:30
Beyond Measure 4:00-5:15
Work 5:30-11:00

Instead…

This is how today went:

Class from 9:00-11:50 {last two classes were cancelled}
Lunch/studying 12:00-2:00
Resting from 2:30-4:00
Beyond Measure 4:00-5:15
Work 5:30-6:30 {it was so slow that they let me go home early…made $30 in that hour}
Came home and took a bath.
Now I am in bed and it's 8:30.

Tender mercy?…

I think so.

"Tickle those ivories and have a good day!"

Today after lunch, I walked over to my piano bench, sat down and started playing.

{I haven't played in a long time and it was exhilarating to play again}

I get lost in the music when I play that I usually don't notice my surroundings. 

During one of the songs I was playing, I looked up and saw my dad in the kitchen 

doorway watching me play.

He then walked over to stood behind me as I finished the piece.

After I finished, I looked up at him and my tender dad had tears in his eyes.

I stood up and gave him a hug and asked if he was okay.

More tears filled his eyes as he said quietly, "You just make me so happy. I love hearing you play."

He started walking in the other room and I went to give him another hug.

Asking again if he was going to be okay.

He answered quietly again with even more tears in his eyes, "You just make me so happy."

He left and went back to work.

As soon as he left, my eyes filled with tears.

All I ever want in life is to make my parents happy and proud of me.

And to have my dad say those words to me with such emotion took my breath away. 

I sat down on the staircase thinking about my relationship with my dad. 

Dad… 

You have always been my number fan since day one. 

Both you and mom have supported me with singing, dancing and piano.

I feel that we have a special relationship when it comes to piano though.

Because I was so involved with soccer, dance and voice lessons, the only time I could

take piano lessons were at 6:30 in the morning on Wednesdays.

You would take me each week knowing that I didn't want to go so early. 

It was in the opposite direction of work, but you still took the time to drive me to lessons.

Dad, I don't know if you remember this, but every week as I got out of your car,

you would always say, "Now go tickle those ivories and have a good day my Annie Boo!"

I play back those words in my head every time I "tickle those ivories".

Dad, you are the one who encouraged me each week with piano lessons.

You were always there for my dance concerts when I know you would 

rather be at home watching Seinfeld.

You were there right next to me when I quit Ensemble to go back to Clayton.

You didn't say anything during that meeting with Ms. Belnap,

but your support and comfort spoke louder than words.

You have made so many sacrifices so that I could continue taking dance, singing and voice lessons.

I have you to thank for my success in music and dance.

Without it, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I thank my Heavenly Father each and every day for blessing me with an earthly father

who loves and cares about me as much as he does.

I love you Dad. Forever and always.

Thank you for encouraging me to "tickle those ivories and have a good day"!

Love,

Annie Boo

.happiness.

Last night my best friend reminded me that happiness is a choice.
And I've decided to make that choice.
Life can get so overwhelming and confusing at times that we often forget to smile and be happy.
I am so incredibly blessed to have people in my life who make being happy easy.

Last night I decided to do more things that make me happy.
I realized that it's been a long time since I've done something that I enjoy doing
because it makes me happy.

Today…classes were cancelled by some miracle.
I was able to sleep at my parents house last night because that makes me happy.
I even slept with my best buddy Oscar.
I got to sleep in today because I LOVE sleeping and I don't get much sleep anymore.
I hung out with my dad for lunch.
Played the piano.
Dyed my hair.
Went to Cafe Rio with my beautiful sister.
Got her a few baby gifts.
{baby peanut comes in t-minus 10 days.. eek!}
Went baby shopping.
Played with my dog.
Played the piano some more.
And went to Beyond Measure practice.

I did all of these things because they make me happy and well… I never get days like this where I don't have class or work.

So my loved ones… Go do something that makes you happy!
Putting off my homework today was so worth it.
I get to go to bed with a smile on and that's all I needed today.

…Happiness is two kinds of ice cream and tying your shoes for the very first time…

-Kim Clayton

.me.

i mumble... i would rather sleep than socialize... i bite my nails... i watch too much netflix... i trust too easily... i suck at math... i don't work out... i am a doormat... i interrupt people.... i have celic... i cry too much... my laugh is obnoxious... i am never on time... i try too hard to impress... i am insecure... i am a diet coke addict... i feel that i am awkward... i don't eat healthy... my immune systems stinks... i make mistakes... but been with these many flaws of mine, i have grown into a young lady that i am proud of. and i love my life.

.oh.hello.

Well… I officially suck at blogging.
Here are some updates for those of you who read my blog… Thanks mom and Aubrey ;)

--> School has been the death of me this semester. I really like it though. It is just really overwhelming.
--> I have a job that I LOVE. People. Food. Management. $$. It's all good.
--> My sister is due in less than 4 weeks….adkj;auhgljdvhalejg
--> Beyond Measure made it through the Quarter Finals at the ICCA's. We are now going BACK to California in 2 weeks to compete at the Semi-Finals. Woot Woot!
--> I still haven't seen Austenland.
--> My phone charger has been broken for a quite a while now and I have been borrowing one from my roommate. The one I ordered finally came in the mail.
--> I'm still dancing and loving it. It's my escape.
--> I'm either in class, doing homework, at BYM or working. Social life has gone bye bye.
--> I am going to DISNEYLAND with 2 of my best friends in 2 weeks!
--> The sun is shining and I'm stoked.
--> Life has been overwhelming and stressful but somehow, I am surviving and staying happy.

These are probably boring updates for you. But this is my life right now!

..

I am so blessed to have someone in my life who makes saying goodbye to at the end of an amazing night so incredibly hard.

.miracle.

To be honest, I haven't been enjoying this semester as much as I would like to. My classes are all over the place, I'm in Stats (yucky) and I just haven't felt my heart loving it as much. Just when I am about ready to be done with this major of mine and and move onto something different, a miracle happens.

I am in a Transition class where we are learning about the transition phase in education. This is one of the most important things we learn as special educators. We were asked to find a high school student and work with them on their goals and future plans. To be honest, this project sounded nothing but miserable to me. Our professor was telling us stories about BYU students who worked with very rude and stubborn high schoolers. I was super nervous about this and not too excited.

Maggie (girl in my cohort) and I walked through the doors of Westlake High School and I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and confidence. Yes I was scared as heck to roam the halls with high schoolers who probably thought I was a sophomore, but I felt like this was where I was supposed to be. We waited outside of the classroom where our 2 students would be. We stood and talked to one of the teachers of the classroom before 2nd period started. A boy walked up to him and said "Hey Mr. D. I'm new in your class!" I looked at the kid and immediately wanted to be his friend.

Mr. J. pulled Maggie and I out into the hallway and told us about the students we would be working with. He pulled out 2 boys from the classroom and one of them just so happened to be "the new kid in class". Those feelings I'd had were no mistake. I needed to be his friend.

We went down to an empty classroom and Maggie took one student and I took my new friend. Let's call him Brian. We sat down in 2 desks that were facing each other and started talking. He told me about his love for reading and listening to Lady Gaga. Turns out that Brian also loves Star Wars and can't get enough of it. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. His response? "I just want to make people happy and I feel like I can do that as an entertainer. I dressed up as Spiderman for a Heroic volunteer program and I had about 50 kids wanting pictures taken with me. They kept telling me I was their hero. I just want to make people happy." Curse my tender heart as I held in tears. (I actually had to hold in tears the whole time we talked... I love and hate this tender heart of mine.)

Brian told me more about himself. Turns out that we have a lot in common. Music. Dance. Star Wars. Etc. He told me stuff that was more personal, yet, he felt like he could tell me these things. He hasn't had an easy life but he still has a good attitude about it all. Looks like he'll be the one teaching me during this project... and boy I can't wait.

.venting.

Dear Week,

I need you to be gone. You haven't been very kind to me and I think we need to break up. For some reason, you think it is funny to have 5/6 of my professors give tests/quizzes/huge assignments all due by Friday. You also thought it was funny to give me freakishly scary nightmares that keep me tossing and turning all night leaving me sleep deprived. Oh and to top it off, the lady at Del Taco got my order wrong and was very rude about it. Ya... I think it's time to break up. It's not me... it's you.

Love,

This tired, stressed and hungry college student

**on the bright side...
= my mom came down yesterday and took me to dinner and we had a lovely conversation. I love her.
= I got a personal email from my little bro today and it made me smile.
= When Del Taco meany head finally got my order right, I found the chicken tacos to be quite delicious.
= I'm still loving my job. It's a lot to take in but I'm learning.

So I guess life isn't too bad. Just hard sometimes. But like I said dear week of mine... we are officially over. I think next week is looking a lot nicer than you!

.apartment.77.

Yesterday the girls of #77 spent the afternoon up in Park City.
Lunch at Ruby Tuesday...not the best decision but we enjoyed each other's company!
Shopping around the outlets. Most of you know that this girl is NOT a shopper.
Although I didn't buy anything (poor college student) I still had a blast just being with my 4 favorites.
We all keep telling each other how blessed we are to have each other.
These are girls I can come home to cry to.
These are girls who I would stay up until 3 AM with just to share funny stories.
These are girls who will make me laugh until my tummy aches.
I just love these girls.
I am truly blessed and I wouldn't want it any other way!

Terann ||| Mikayla ||| Courtney ||| Annie ||| Megan

** Oh did I mention we saw Ryan Gosling at Sundance?? ;)

Oh and I got to end my night with dinner and games with my fam damily. I love that crazy group of people!

.oh.hello.

Oh hello there! I've had a few people tell me to update my blog and I tell myself everyday that I need to post but  something always comes up. So here is a quick list of updates!

= Winter semester has started...not gonna lie...I'm struggling with switching my mind over from fall semester.

= I have a new roommate. Her name is Megan. She is pretty amazing!

= It's been 3 weeks since I last bit my nails. For those of you who know me know that I have a bad habit of biting my nails. Looks like I'm doing well with this New Years resolution.

= Beyond Measure will be going to the ICCA's (national acapella competition) in a month!

= Speaking of BYM, we now have an official director and he's the bomb!

= My sister Jessica is getting bigger and bigger with a baby cooking in the oven. We are both sure it's a boy. Her husband, Jake, thinks it's a girl. Only April 13th will tell!

= I love my family more and more everyday. The time we get to spend together is priceless.

= Trent's brother, Justin, just got married to the beautiful Megan. It was a beautiful wedding and they looked so happy.

= I started dancing again. I couldn't be happier.

= I got a new job at Tucanos Brazilian Grill! STOKED!

= I've been keeping up with The Bachelor and to be honest...I can't take Juan Pablo seriously but he is fun to look at and that show is entertaining.

= We got to skype my little brother on his mission on Christmas and it was the best part of that day. I miss him so much and he is doing so well!

= I am now an avid reader. My parents got me a Kindle for Christmas and I read every night now.

= Trent still makes me a happy girl and I am so grateful for him.

= Did I mention I stopped biting my nails?! My roommate Megan loves painting nails and it pretty dang good at it so she gives me manicures which prevent me from biting my nails.

= My sister Bethany and her husband, Andrew, have moved to Switzerland for his work and they are loving it. I'm happy for them and this adventure but I miss them everyday.

= I got a new calling! I was released as the music coordinator and called to be a visiting teaching supervisor. Wish me luck!

Well folks...there ya have it! It's a small update but life is good! I am happy as ever. I am doing things that make me happy and are helping me grow. I love my roommates. I love my friends. I love my family. I am one lucky girl to have such a blessed life.