It was an interesting day today. A day that we are going to have to face each year...whether we like it or not. I will never forget where I was, what I was wearing and who I was with when I heard the news of Sophie Rose Barton's passing. It came to be as a shock. I didn't want to believe it. It was so surreal. My first thought? Prayer. We needed to stop what we were doing and pray. So we did. We prayed for Sophie. Her family. Her friends. We prayed. Later that night, it really hit me as I read posts on her facebook page. Thousands of people were influenced by her at one point or another. For me? Sophie taught me how to live life. We grew up in the same stake. We went to Cottonwood Elementary, Olympus Jr. High and Olympus High School together. We did Clayton together. We toured to Colorado together. Sophie and I were never best friends but I did consider her a good friend. I would watch her and her sister Tessa walk down the halls. Hand in hand. Loving and laughing. It was quite the sight. Sophie sat behind me in seminary. She was there...everyday without fail. She would have her scriptures and journal open. She was a spiritual giant. I would silently watch Sophie at school and admire her so much. I never told her how cute her outfits always were, or how amazing her hair looked, or how much I adored her as a person. I wish I had. I would watch her walk down the halls and feel as though I was in the presence of a godess. She is unreal.
Ever since Sophie passed away, I have felt her in my life on a daily basis. I was able to spend this afternoon with my sister Jessica who was with me when I found out Sophie had passed away. She was with me at every fireside during that horrible week. It felt right to spend the day with Jess. We cooked lunch and listened to Sophie's music. It was peaceful. We drove around Holladay. It was quiet. Peaceful. Different. White ribbons were tied on trees and mailboxes. People remember. They always will. I feel her in the wind. I went to see her grave today and a small breeze came over me and I knew that it was her. It was obvious. It was her telling me that she was okay and so happy. Sophie is doing things that none of us could ever dream of doing right now. Heaven is so lucky to have her.
We all have open wounds. Those wounds will eventually turn into scars. Those scars remind us of the pain we once felt when it was once a wound. It reminds us that life was once hard and that we overcame a trial. That rugged line in your skin is life. Every time we run our fingers over the scar, we are reminded that we are strong. We were once weak, but we are now strong. When Soph passed away, we were all left with open wounds. Deep ones. Wounds that seemed would never heal. Wounds that hurt deep to a point where it felt like life would never be easy again. Through facing our fears and trials, those wounds have healed. We become stronger. I have become stronger since that fateful day 2 years ago.
Sophie will always be with us. She is here to stay. We WILL see her again. We WILL hear her sing. We WILL feel her warm hugs. It WILL happen. And I can't wait.
I love you Sophie Rose Barton. Thank you for being an incredible example to me. Thank you for teaching me to "feel the fear and do it anyway."
